The time will come when you and your children will have to deal with death in your own immediate family.
When an acquaintance, a relative, or some close friend dies, we grieve. We feel the loss. As Christians, we seek to console with caring words and loving deeds those who are left behind. This is as it should be, for God’s Word urges us to “carry each others’ burdens” (Galatians 6:2).
The time will also come, however, when you and your children will have to deal directly with death in your own immediate family. Although children may not show it, the subject of death is a very important concern to them. Someday it will be your death or your spouse’s that your children will experience. In God’s infinite wisdom your child will be faced with his or her own death or the impending death of a brother or sister. It could be at a very young age, for God in his love may choose to call us from this life to life eternal at any time.
Helping children understand the meaning of death
While not being morbid or dwelling on the subject, it is important that children learn about and talk about death as a part of the God-directed process of living. Although many parents find it difficult, they should not be afraid to talk about death in their family circle.
Death is the path into heaven for the child of God who believes in Jesus. Christ has conquered death and won eternal life. Talking is wholesome and important to every Christian child. It is not something morbid to be avoided.
Talking about death is wholesome and important
All of us experience grief at the loss of a loved one. Grief is not sinful. It is a perfectly normal feeling. We should not try to hide
our feelings and our tears. Jesus also felt grief when a loved one died. And he assures us, “You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy” (John 16:20). Even in death, Christians can trust this promise.
Children need to know that grief is okay and that they too can trust God’s promise that joy will follow. Parents can help children pass from grief to joy when dealing with death in the family. God has made us his children, heirs of heaven, and he gives that inheritance through death. That’s what death is — the door to eternal life!
In a sense Christian people don’t have to “deal with death.” Death need hold no fear. Jesus dealt with death. He destroyed death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel (2 Timothy 1:10). He died for us on Calvary’s cross. And he rose again from the dead as the guarantee of our salvation. He destroyed the power and the punishment, and thus the fear of death. In Christ we can “deal with death” because his victory over death is our victory too.
Deal with life
So, to deal with death we need to deal with life. We need to live the faith in Christ which the Holy Spirit works in our hearts and in the hearts of our children. Christian parents and children, as a family of God, can use this life. We can live each new day as a time of grace, as a time to draw closer to our Savior.
Parents, speak victoriously to your children about death. Through Christ the victory is yours and theirs. Pray joyfully about the end of earthly life as the entrance to heaven. Heaven is the goal of our faith and Christian life. We look forward to it. By teaching and living the gospel of Christ and our salvation in him, we will be preparing our children and ourselves for our own death or the death of a beloved family member.
And remember Jesus’ promise: “You will grieve, but your grieve will be turned to joy.”
The assurance of heaven through faith in Christ will accomplish it.
Some suggestions
Use the opportunities which God presents to you (events in the news, a serious illness or death in the congregation or neighborhood) to talk about death and dying and preparing for death by clinging firmly to our Savior and his Word. Remember that in him is our comfort and strength for every need.
Conduct a personal Bible study on death, resurrection and eternal life. Include older children. Especially study 1 Corinthians 15. Other passages of Scripture to include in your study: Luke 16:19-31; John 6:40; 11:25,26; 2 Timothy 1:10; 4:18; Hebrews 2:14,15; Revelation 21:4.
Something to think about
- What would you do if you were told that your child had three months to live? How would you prepare yourself? your dying child? How would you prepare other members of the family?
- Is it ever advisable to keep the know-ledge of a terminal illness from the family member who is dying? from other family members? See Galatians 5:13b.
- Is it easier to deal with a sudden death or a Heath you know is drawing very near?
See Romans 8:28
- Why should death hold no fear for the Christian? Death, nevertheless, remains a major matter for us to deal with in the process of life. Why?
Prayer
Dear Father in heaven you know my struggle as I seek to carry out my responsibilities as a Christian parent. I am a sinful parent and live in a sinful world. But you have promised to stand at my side and to guide me by your holy Word. Thank you for that promise. With that assurance, help me teach my children, by word and example, to live their lives to your glory until you call them home through death. Whenever it is your will to call a member of our family out of this life, help my family and me see death as the path to life in heaven which is ours because your Son, Jesus Christ, came to suffer and die for us. Teach me to cling to my Savior always, so that I might always reflect my faith to my family. I ask this in the name of my Savior, Jesus. Amen.